I'm your friend.

 Xadus was wandering around while Markiss went off hunting. He thought to come along, but decided to let Markiss go alone. He figure he come along next time to help him, especially since he could use his Cleric powers again. While he was wandering, he saw Nine sitting by the river staring off. He frown some and would figure he go talk to him. Especially with what happen the other night, he wanted to apologize for it. He move and sits next to Nine, when Nine saw Xadus he tensed up.

He suspected Markiss not far "Go away. I already told your love toy that I wasn't going to bother you guys. Besides you have done enough." he state sternly to him.

Xadus would frown still "I know, but I came to apologize. I really wasn't trying to hurt you, I wanted to help. I wanted you to have someone, you are always so alone and unhappy. I just thought maybe I pay him and then you two meet and just bam magic."

Nine rolled his eyes "I am not taking the bracelet off, I meant it when I said I didn't know how." staring at the water." So you can go away now."

Xadus leans over and hugs Nine now "No, sorry but you can't get rid of me. I am your friend, you can try to push me away, but I am not leaving. I'm sorry for what I put you through, we do stupid things for love and it doesn't make it right, but Nine you are not alone." he told him.

Nine tensed at the hug and would keep staring at the water, hearing Xadus talk. He would frown some at his words "Why....why do you keep staying around. Even though I push you away."

Xadus sighs "Because I know what it is like. I know a person in pain,  I know when you push its because you are punishing yourself. I know because I did the same, I would do things to make people uncomfortable on purpose, to keep them at arms length, because I didn't think I was worth friends, worth any happiness. However Nine you are worth those things, even if you can't see it. You deserve friends, people and happiness. You need to stop beating yourself up, you have got to let go of that past. You don't have to suffer alone anymore." Nine would try to not cry as Xadus kept talking. He held his breath, those words hitting him hard.

Xadus go on "You can yell and scream and try, but I am not leaving you. I am not letting you be alone, I have lived a long long time. I manage to find happiness, if I can, then you most defiantly can and you haven't even done much. I know you hurt, I know you think you are unworthy. I am so sorry for what Basalisk did to make you this way, for what that demon Astaroth did to you when he forced you to kill those people, how your father tried to take your will. Nine I am so sorry for what you have endured in such a short time, I know it seems so bleak, I know it seems like there is no point. However I am here to tell you, you are worth it, you are worthy of happiness."

Nine closed his eyes listening still, few blood tears rolling down his cheek. Before he lean against Xadus, the Elf would stroke his hair "you are worthy Nine." he cooed to him. "I promise you, you are worthy. Don't put thought to what others think, their thoughts don't matter." Nine would murmur "Thank you." to the Elf. Xadus would smile to him "No need to thank me." hugs him tight. Markiss was not far, but he just watched and observed to make sure Xadus was safe, listening to their conversation. He sighs and turns to walk away, seeing as Xadus was ok, didn't look like Nine was going to do anything to him. He talk later about that with the Elf, but for now he give them some space, thinking that Elf was waaay to nice.

The book of godlessness.

 A book on Godlessness, by Thelderion *High Cleric Priest*

The book shows many information on Clerics and spells, most of which is now used as common practice. However in the time this book was written, it look like it was revolutionary. Spells that were not heard of, herb discovery that truly pioneered Clerics to what they are now and many infirmaries and how they hell people. Even spells on cleansing with succession of the being surviving them, how to pull demons out easily without harming the host.

There was also a deep section on how to practice without the use of gods or goddess's. Showing alternative practices and a long rant of how useless the gods/godess's were. Stating how they care not for the mortal realm or their followers, how self absorbed they are. Pointing out the many flaws of them and how to get on without them. It was a guide to turning their backs on the gods/godess's. It was defiantly a book to cause a revolution against the gods/godess's. Talks of tearing the churches down, the statues and burning the books on them.

One god being the focal point was chaos, with claims saying getting rid of chaos would get rid of the destruction of the world. There was even battle plans and details of chaos demons, how to harm them, destroy them. Many theories of destroying the god of chaos, theories of how to even entrap the god if need be.

There was plans on surviving apocalypses and a vision of a future burning at the hands of the Phoenix race, of how it would happen, very deep details in every way it would happen. How if they could turn from the gods/godess's, maybe they could save themselves, as the gods/godess's won't stop this from happening, that it was probably their design to rid them all.

This was not some crazy rambles of a mad man either, but a man who look to want to preserve his race, to protect the people he loved. There were designs of escape for when the Phoenix come to burn the cities of the Elves. A way to save as many from the tragic fate, that seem would come eventually. 

This was a book of a man who had, had it with the gods/godess's, possibly felt abandon by them and decided they should do the same.It was well thought it or so it seem, to anyone who had never spent time with the gods/godess's this seem well sound. How to gather numbers, build up armies, how to hone the Clerics abilities to be powerful. A lot of research went into this, lots of side notes and theories.

Tavern Talk

    Nine was working in the Tavern, still thinking about how calm Dorian heart beat was. Even when they kissed, hell even the one time Dorian was handsy on him it was calm, it really unnerved him. He stood there wiping a mug as he was lost in thought, to the point Ingrid came over and grab his wrist "Hey now, keep wiping the mug and it might disappear." she teased him.

Nine looks to her and then looks down to the mug "hmm oh...right." slowly setting it down. "Sorry, just...have alot on my mind." he told her.

Ingrid went to pour a drink for a customer "Anything I can help with?" she ask. Putting the bottle away and moved next to Nine, propping herself against the counter.

Nine stared at her and then sighs "Its ....nothing." he tried to say.

Ingrid arch a brow "This is about pretty boy isn't it. The one who was all over you the other night?"she ask bluntly "Hun there is nothing you can say I haven't heard or been through myself. Honestly I am the best person to talk to. Plus your slacking in your duties soo talk." 

Nine groan some, but slouched in defeat "OK fine. It's...it's just that his heart beat...its calm." he state to her.

Ingrid tilt his head "Really? All bent out of shape over a heartbeat?" she ask him.

Nine stared at her "No...its...ugh..like ok so people heartbeats races when...you get into situations." he tried to in the most awkward manner explain.

Ingrid stared at him "So you two fucked and his heartbeat never changed?" again blunt as ever.

Nine blushed and says "WHAT NOOO....WHAT!?!? We haven't..sheesh...no we kissed but like his heartbeat was the same and even if he is handsy its the same. Like....I feel....I feel like.." he groan some.

"Like he's not into it or you?" she ask him, Nine giving her a nod. "I see. Well I mean maybe you're not doing it right."

Nine grimace some "I know how to kiss and I am actually good at it thank you. I just don't know. He was paid to fuck me apparently..so its all weird now."

Ingrid smirked "Oh you actually liked this guy. Well I mean he could just be going cause of the pay, like he's just not into you."

Nine frowns "Thats what I am thinking...he's staying at my house..."

"WHAT!? OH honey. He is likely using you for a free ride." Ingrid states "Like free room and board and if the only down fall is sex, then he thinking thats not bad."

Nine just shrunk more "I didn't think of that." he say in a quiet tone.

Ingrid huff some "Nine...just becareful ok. One I don't want to replace you, you are a hell of a worker and two you should never let anyone walk all over you."

Nine looks at the counter and would start wiping it "Yeah." 

Ingrid would let out a small sigh "Just....watch him. I mean hell maybe he's dead." she snorts.

Nine stop and stared at the counter "Dead?" 

Ingrid nods "Well yeah, its a joke. Like he's dead inside." Nine just listen some and would say "Right." in a short tone. The two continued their work and serving the patrons of the Tavern, though Ingrid gave some thought for Nine to think about now.

lost cause?

  Xadus watches as Nine just seem to move about the Tavern in a zombie like state a moment. Frowning "He was suppose to fix him, not make him worse." he state. 

Markiss would sigh "I keep telling you sex is not the fix all things."  

Xadus looks to him "Yes it is....look at us." 

Markiss stared at Xadus "I love you...even if you are a beautiful idiot. Sex has not fixed us, it just brought us closer cause we love each other." 

Xadus stared at Markiss "Thats why I pick the hot vampire, they see each other....love at first sight and bam."

Markiss groaned "You hired a whore. Thats not how that works, the guys a whore, who only does sex."he tried to explain to Xadus. Xadus would frown still and just lowered his head, Markiss tilt his head "Oh please don't look like that, it was a good idea...really...just...sex isn't the answer to everything."

Xadus huff "I am gonna make him fix it, he broke him worse, he fixes." he spoke with confidence.

Markiss blink some "I don't think you can blame him for...that....I mean how is he suppose to fix him anyways."

Xadus looks to Markiss "Not my issues, it his. He fixes him, cause if Volty finds out we broke Nine completely......you and I both really will be in trouble. Markiss would grimace and shiver to the thought of Voltaire coming after them. Shaking his head, he did NOT want that, that was for sure.

"Right....ok well.. you need to tell him that." Markiss told the demon "Saint and Devils...how come all your friends are so damn complicated?" shaking his head again slower this time.

Xadus would shrug "I don't know, but I go find and speak." and he was gone and Markiss blink some "Saints and Devils. Always go go go. I really don't want to end up on Voltaires bad side." He would get up and start heading out to go on a hunt, really hoping Xadus could get that guy to fix whatever or maybe the Vampire rally before then. Either way he was praying for a miracle for sure.

Breaking again

   Voltaire was sitting at the bar just watching Nine who was in a booth by himself, he was seeming to be talking to himself. Grabbing his head some, almost like having a whole break down. He was quiet there, not making a scene, but Voltaire was watching. Xadus came up behind him and spoke "Whats going on?" seeing where Voltaire was watching. Voltaire sighs "Watching a friend break into pieces.......again." Xadus frowns. "He needs someone." he told Voltaire. "He had Aiden...but....Aidens gone off to do his own thing." shaking his head. Xadus tilt his head "Aiden?" he ask, Voltaire nods "Yeah Gabriel...his new alias." Xadus gave a nod "Oh."

He then leans on the counter "Is there anything we can do?" he ask him, but Voltaire shook his head "I'm afraid not. I really don't know what to do anymore. He keeps me so far away, I'm trying to be respectful but...seeing him like this...bothers me."

Xadus gave a nod "Me and Markiss are gonna play match maker." he told Voltiare.

"Do as you please, I doubt he will be keen on anymore you send his way. He really is just, losing it mentally." Voltaire told Xadus witha sadden tone.

"Well Markiss made it known you were here just so you know, Nine knows." Xadus state.

Voltaire sighs "Right.....perhaps  I should have a chat with Nine....oh great..." he state and Xadus would arch a brow "What....what is wrong?"

Voltaire pinches the bridge of his nose "He's smoking.I bet its probably a drug."

Xadus shrugs " Might not be a bad thing....I need to check on Markiss, but I will be back down." Voltaire gave a nod and heads over to Nine.

He sit at the table and stare across to Nine, who stared at him "What?" Nine would ask, taking a puff.

Voltaire would watch him and waves a wrench over "Can I get rum please..I feel I will need it." 

Nine would just set a flask down and says "Why...are you here." as he takes a swig from the flask.

Voltaire looks to Nine "You know why. Don't play coy, you know I am here cause I care."

Nine would roll his eyes and says "Yeah whatever, care less." he told him, still smoking.

Voltaire frown some, paying the wrench when she brought over the mug of rum for him "Nine I don't like seeing you like this and neither did Aiden....you need to move on. You need to get better, not worse."

Nine smirked "I am over Sephi if thats what you mean.....I know she is passed, I know she want me to move on and I have." he told him "do I miss her, yes...but...I don't dwell on that moment anymore....."

Voltaire furrow his brow "Then why are you like this? What is wrong you can talk to me."

Nine stared at the flask and drank it again "What does it matter why I am like this? Like I'm not harming you or anyone. Why do you always have to but in? Maybe I am just tired."

Voltaire look at his mug some" Tired of what?"

"Of people trying to control my fucking life, I am tired of being told how to act or be. I am so tired of always being threaten for things I do, or say or just...I'm done. I am tired of it all. I get it...I can't do anything right, but I don't need people down my fucking throat every time I screw up." shifts in his seat a moment. "Tired of people thinking they know what is best for me....can't leave me alone."

Voltaire looked at Nine "Is alone what you really want?"

Nine took another swig and says "no....but I tried the whole be around people...it didn't work. I got a nice reminder that...I am what I am...people don't believe me...people just don't care if you are good."

Voltaire nods "Kind of like Xadus..." 

Nine sighs "Oh come on, you know he was fine with the holy water....let me guess his little boy toy blab to you."shaking his head and he down the rest of the flask.

Voltaire sighs "It was rude. Whether it hurt him or not...."

Nine shook his head "I get ice down my pants and told get over it, your over reacting by being mean, how could you accuse somebody with no proof.....but..I splash Xadus with water CAUSE I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH A CRYING DEMON. Suddenly I am just the worst guy ever....I tried everything to get him to stop......I....hug the guy..." 

Voltaire arch a brow "you....hugged Xadus."

Nine nods "Yes...and I tried to get him to talk, but he just screamed RUINED, ITS ALL RUINED!" shaking his head "Thats it and so at the tavern I thought, if I splashed water, maybe he stop or open up....I didn't know he be naked.....in the tavern." 

Voltaire shook his head "And you still thought it a good idea...."

Nine looks at Voltaire "You splashed me in a tavern once, lets see I have had my head dunk in water....told to rally...."

Voltaire sighs "OK...I see where this became a good idea to you." he waved his hands. "But picking a fight with Markiss? Its that self destructive path again Nine....you trying to get yourself killed?"

Nine smirk some "No...he just...it reminded me of Phinn and z all over again, where I am the worst person in the world...so I just decided I be....the worst person ever. He already made his mind up about me and I didn't see a point in trying to argue. I am shit in his head....all humans come to this about vampires anyways..so why change it?"

Voltaire shook his head "People can be different, if you give them a chance Nine. I know...you feel alone right now and like everyone abandon you...I know Aiden going out on his own hurt you....I know it must hurt to see people happy together and you...just ..you are still alone. It's easy to go back into old ways...but Nine...you need to move forward."

Nine just snickers some and Voltaire tilt his head "What is funny?" he ask him 

"I'm alone.....always..." he laugh "Its the one thing that never changes.....even when I try." he leans on the table laughing. "Even fate says nope...alone or if you have friends you can't be you." Nine just cackled in his seat, Voltaire stared at him with a frown. "I wish... you peace....I really do." shaking his head. However it was clear Nine had more then a smoke going on, that flask seem to have been a type of drug too. Voltaire would look at the mug, Xadus had come down stairs again and Voltaire wave him over. 

When Xadus got to him "Can you escort Nine home. I don't think he is in a state to travel alone....don't want some low life taking advantage of him."Xadus nods "Of course I can.."

Nine snorts "Oh there goes bossybob fancypants telling people what to do." cackling more. Xadus looks at Voltaire a moment and then leans to grab Nine and help the stumbling Vampire out of the booth. "You look like you are having fun." he told him.

Nine just looks around "Where is snarkiss?" he ask. Xadus blinks some and then says "Oh...Markiss..he is busy." Nine nods "Yeah wouldn't want him to know you took the evil Vampire home...he'd likely loose his head. "Xadus sighs some and says "Come on...lets go.." Nine grabs Xadus "HEY.....don't eat my garden out front.....I know you and the veggies." Xadus snorts. Voltaire just shook his head, as the Demon moved out of the inn with Nine and just sighs "Oh Nine.....I know you are in soo much pain. I just wish you trust, someone." Slowly got up and moved off himself.